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bREaK FREe

I was swiping through my facebook page and i wondered what possibly went wrong with my whole world….
 
i saw a totally different person smiling n posing upside down in my profile pic. i’m no more me. i’ve lost myself. In between these transformation of time i lost that perky, fun filled, crazy , party maker of the gang girl.. now as i look at the mirror, i dont recognize the person standing. i cant take this anymore… i want tht me back… i want my life back… i wake every morning and wish all this to be a nightmare. ..i wanna wake up in that hostel room where i spend three precious years of my life with 5 nut cases… mad, fun, love, party, joy, tears, fight, Halloween, girl talk n much more…… where every boring day can be turned into dance party day… camera’s clicking every now n then… Laughter… loud ones… Music, Movies, Makeovers, Shopping, Trips…..
 
they say heaven is wat you make… but seriously some times you are thrown into hell n you couldn’t connect to anyone or you are juz alone n all others are either more than your wavelength ppl or less…
 
Even my orange umbrella is getting fade… yes it looks like my colours are fading n its killing me…. i cant connect to the ppl around me… my work place is totally different. filled with older ppl… n ppl with whom i have nothing in common (Not even the same food thing). n orthodox ppl… i’m not moulded for this type of life… n if this is wat my future holds then i’m not gonna take it…  
 
if i cant change this i’ll surely avenge it….
 
Every night i think of this beach side where i will walk… wind sweeping over my cheeks…. i spreading my arms n enjoying every bit of it… n breathing in the raw smell…… i feel freedom… yes,…. i want to break-free…. Elope with my friends…. i miss them sooooo much…
 
i wanna scream like hell… there’s nothing to distract… no one in my life to talk this over… (yeah yeah i know this is wat happens to single ppl)… its one of those disgusting feeling you get while you are in periods….. i tries like a 1000 things… tried to drown in my job but eventually you’ll have to come out of the trench… n once you do that its back to Square one again….
 
This feeling is like a black hole… once you start falling into it… there’s no come back…
 
 
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I WANNA BREAK FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

autobiographic bit, College, essay, Friends, Frienship, fun, life, memories, Nostalgia, personal, prose, Relations, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Paralyzed Student………

i really wanna blog every day… but now i’m really busy….. now i know why most of my frnds don’t have time to call or mail me…. every one is busy with their life….

student life is the golden era of one’s life… no worries, no burden, no responsibility, nothing… juz full of fun….. most beautiful days… days filled with vibrant colors of life, energy, n lots of drama,…..

now i see all this in front of my eyes… but cant be one of them…. its like u see these moments but cant live it…. yup.. that’s the life of a college lecturer…..

lemme put it this way…. a lecturer is like a paralyzed student…. u see everything around u, u feel the vibes around u… but u cant live it…….

so yeah now I’M A PARALYZED STUDENT……….

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College Days……!!!!!!!!!!!

Winnie the Pooh!! on our hostel room door… missin it a lot….

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Those pizza evenings at Zero Degree at Thrissur Big Bazar…!!!!!!!!

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a Sweet B’day gift to ma roommate Neelz (neelima nair, other blogger) by Rosu…

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Rosu’s Back… she fed up with me clicking every now n then.. she turned her back to ma n said.. TAKE THIS… yeah i took it…. lov u girl.. n missin u…

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autobiographic bit, College, inspirations, life, literature, memories, Nostalgia, personal, photography, Thoughts, Travel, Uncategorized

tRaIn DIaRy : a NeW BegInNInG

Any one curious about the post’s name “Train diary” ???????

ImageMonday mornings always started with the journey from my home to calicut…. and the mode of transport,… well of course train…

the great Chennai Mail… its actually too early for any one to go at that point of day… but I’m out of choices.. the train is at morning 6:05 am… so eventually i ended up hating Monday mornings….( juz these past two years…. 😦 )

i always take the Ladies Coach and its always crowded. not even one inch to put your legs and stand.. its really awful on days when it got the small coach… so it’s not jux the waking up that i hate.. but the lot of fights involved once you get into the Ladies Coach… whatever it is i still make my way and find a seat and get busy with a book and soothing music in my ears… (really i love those travel.. 🙂 ).

 

if its raining that’s the best time…i always tweet that ” sitting at the window seat of Chennai mail with a cup of hot coffee and excellent music flowing through ma headphones… lyf can no more be perfect than this..’ this is the case of mornings… when it comes to evenings… its an entirely different story…

Evenings in Chennai mail are legendary…. guess why???? because of all the fuss and running behind the RMS coach…. when it comes to the evening Chennai mail, half of the RMS coach is converted to Ladies Only Coach… There are numerous women who take this very train to come to work and go back… for them its juz a piece of cake.. but my case is different.. I’m only taking this train on weekending Friday and the week starter Monday ( yes,… I’m annoyed by the crowded places 😉 )
i would like to share all the interesting stories happened there with you people…..
welcome to train diary……
don’t forget to read it on all Friday evenings…