College, essay, fun, holiday, inspirations, life, literature, memories, Nostalgia, personal, Poem, poetic, Poetry, prose, Quotes, Relations, romance, Thoughts, Uncategorized

You know why i said i m ready for a kid??

Its not because i m scared not having one in future but this constant feeling that is eating me.
I may have scored the best than the rest of our group or in your friend circle. I may have had the better education than them. But I am a total failure than all. 

Even i have a wish to get a decent job with a decent pay. I wish to be in a quality work space. Not between some kitchen wives who jabber about nothing other than saas bahu drama and how horrible is married life. I want to be between quality people who enjoys life like our friends’ group does. Who makes me feel yes these are the people i want to be around or this is where i belong..

But no i always end up in garbage. I have realized its not gonna happen. i tried a lot to turn my luck. But no. i have worked hard; hard like anything to get those numbers on my marklist but alas they are mere numbers… And i am a big zero… 

Atleast i don’t want to be a even more giant failure buy wining over not having a baby.

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artist, autobiographic bit, Friends, Frienship, inspirations, life, literature, memories, Nostalgia, personal, Poem, poetic, Poetry

Slap Me Please..

please slap me

i’m a stupid moron

who let go her friends

lost in her world

of virtual happiness

never looked back

the route i took

and the hands

that held me

those words

with a ray of hope

kept me together

but i….

left them

and walked ahead…

please slap me and

take me back

i’m a bitch

now off the dose

of ego..

please slap me

artist, inspirations, life, literature, Nostalgia, personal, Poem, poetic, Poetry, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Nirjeeva Parinaaman

vellamadichu naalukaalil nilkunna doctor

enne nokki ilichu,

“konnatho chathato…. ”

onnu koodi nannai aadi ulanju,

aa bheekara kodali eduthu!!

ente netti noki oru vettu….

nirjeeva rakthavum pottiya thalayoodum…..

ganapathiku muttarutha pole…

randu kashnangal….

ente thalachor eduthu…

chuvannu thalarna kannukal kondu oru inspection….

“ummm thaalachorinnu kshatham onnu illa….”

veendum oru emandan kathi eduthu….

ente kazhutharathu……

avidannu nere neenda oru dissection..

ente aadhya spandanathinu vazhi thanna

pokkil kodi bandathinte baaki pathram vare

neenda dissection…

nadu keeriya chaka pole..

polinju kidakkunu njan!!!!

aa virakkuna kaikal

ente changum, karalum, aamashayavum puratheduthu…

ellathinem onnu adimudi nooki…..

“ooohhh kolllalo…

ellam full conditionil thanna!!!!”

veendum aa kathi eduth needa oru vettu vetti!!!

manushya janmathinte pavithra sthanam…

ente garbhapathram…

“ithu puthan putiyatha!!!

jeevan mulakan ulla vayasu ithinaayitila”

“ithu chathatha!!!

konnathonnum alla…

veruthe samayam kalayan oruthanmar”

kayil kittya avayavangal

kanni kanda stalathu kuthti ketti..

evide ninno ozhukunna nirjeeva rakthahte

panji kondu thadanju….

kuthi keetiya avayavangale thunni ketti

oru vidham karyam theerthu doctor..

naalu kaalil doctor

Post-mortem hallil ninnu poi….

thunni kettiya enne kondupokkan vanvar jhetti…

pidakkuna changu aporath trayil

chudu chora niranja pidakkuna changu……

pinne njan marichathengane……

purathe varandhayil…

nenju potti alarunna sabdam….

parichithamaya aa aan sabdam…

chithaku thee kolithiyapolum kelkkamayirunnu….

inspirations, life, literature, personal, Poem, poetic, Poetry, Thoughts

Smile

I woke up…
Alarm crying as usual
Walked to bathroom
Didnt look at the mirror
But,

There was a curve on my lips
An upper curve…

Days passed….
The curve…
Turned upside down…..

I stare at the mirror,
With toothbrush and
An opened pipe….
Not knowing wat to do….
Wat to think….
Where to go…..

To bring back…..
The upper curve…..

autobiographic bit, life, literature, personal, Poem, poetic, Poetry, Uncategorized

i lie there…

My eyes wide open,

Staring at the ceiliing.

Night, still with its,

Dead silence,

Wind, calm with its,

Slow sway.

I lie there,

On my bed…..

Thoughts of future,

And life far away,

Rewinds of the day,

Haunts me with its,

Furious horrror.

I lie there,

On my bed…

Eyes lids heavy,

Sweeping my feet,

To the world of,

Lost dreams.

I lie there,

On my bed….

Woke up, suddenly

No nightmares,

the heat within,

buring my soul,

and beyond .

still….

i lie there,

on my bed….